I just moved to a new apartment, which reminds me very much of my first apartment in Elk Grove, CA. The main difference is that this apartment doesn’t have a roommate.
I was thinking about that old place recently, and reflected fondly on a memory that is sure to not translate well to written word. You see, much like my current place, that apartment in Elk Grove had a community pool that my roommate (Dane) and I frequented in the summer.
Another frequenter of the pool was a father and son duo. I never got the dad’s name, but the son’s name was Brandon. Ask me how I know that.
WELL, what typically happened was this: Dane and/or I would be reading by the pool. Brandon (who we think had some social issues) would play in the pool while his dad watched. As he played, he would say to himself (in a slightly Kermit-esque voice), “Oh yeah, you’re right Brandon,” while he splashed around. The thing was, he would steadily make his way to our side of the pool, all the while gradually getting louder, “OH yeeeaaaah! You’re RIIIIIIGHT, Brandon!”
Eventually, he would peak when he was right near us, still in the pool, exclaiming, “OH YEEEAAAH YOU’RE RIIIIIIGHT, BRANDON!” It was at this point that his dad would say, “Hey Brandon, why don’t you settle down and come back to this side of the pool,” and Brandon would float on back while muttering under his breath, “You’re in timeout, Brandon.”
I will admit, though we knew it was terrible to laugh, Dane and I had a hell of a time keeping our composure throughout this routine. In an effort to ‘be cool’ we would block our faces with our books and suppress the pending outburst. However, we did turn it into a fun game for after-pool-hours.
You see, the phrase, “Oh yeah, you’re right!” is very common. So when someone says that, I like to add a ‘Brandon!’ onto the end of it. For example, your friend is looking for a parking spot and you are the passenger:
You: I think that’s a spot.
Friend: Really, where?
You: Right behind the big SUV.
Friend: Oh yeah, you’re right!
Friend: Um, what? That’s not my name.
Side note: this works best for non-Brandon-named friends.
Another scene that works well for this phrase is if you are arguing about a googleable factoid and your opponent is correct. Once you find the answer, a very loud, “OH YEAH YOU’RE RIGHT BRANDON!” will most certainly confuse. And really, that’s what it’s all about – embarrassment and confusion.
So wherever you are, Brandon, this post is in your honor. Thanks for always being right and thanks for giving me the opportunity to spread your awkwardness.